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shredtheaqua:

You know a girl is mad when she starts off her sentence saying “I just find it funny how ” because there’s a 99.9% chance she did not find it funny.

Posted 6 hours ago With 142,772 notes

neyagawa:

foxnewsofficial:

you could really fuck with your baby if you get something embarrassing tattooed on the top of their head when they’re born and don’t tell them then they go bald 50 years later like what the fuck

never become a parent

Posted 7 hours ago With 32,923 notes

217565 notes / reblog / 7 hours ago
imholdingmybreathforyou:

blankmuse:

jewicidal:

what

That sentence was a roller coaster.


meow meow

imholdingmybreathforyou:

blankmuse:

jewicidal:

what

That sentence was a roller coaster.

meow meow

lumos5001:

skeletonflight:

AU The Fault In Our Stars where Hazel Grace succumbs to the cancer and dies and in the last scene all you see is Augustus standing out side with a cigarette between his lips and a hand slowly reaching up to light it.

HOW IS THIS ANY BETTER THAN THE ORIGINAL ENDING!!!!

Posted 7 hours ago With 95,458 notes

38917 notes / reblog / 8 hours ago

dukeofnachos:

kurosaki224:

happyhaunter:

steve and bucky are startled by a levitating knife

It’s been ten minutes why am I still laughing

"the future is so scary"

276226 notes / reblog / 8 hours ago
thefrontporchuniverse:

neverkickthewinchesterangels:

deerpong:

OMG IT’S BACK

I didn’t know what to expect but now I’m physically crying

This would be me.

thefrontporchuniverse:

neverkickthewinchesterangels:

deerpong:

OMG IT’S BACK

I didn’t know what to expect but now I’m physically crying

This would be me.

toastdurr:

fairyspork:

floptart:

ass2007:

im so glad my boyfriends penis is 2 bread lengths long (:

image

Who the fuck measures dick size in bread

Posted 8 hours ago With 64,137 notes

215 notes / reblog / 9 hours ago

mrcrockers:

mrcrockers:

hue jackman

image

i showed this to my sister and she slapped me

Posted 9 hours ago With 53,520 notes

elicrotch:

v0ciferation:

checks grades

*bastille voice* how am i gonna be an optimist about this

well if you close your eyes

Posted 9 hours ago With 161,911 notes

148580 notes / reblog / 10 hours ago
johnny-fucking-appleseed:

thissongsacurse:

This is how I imagine genderfluid people

This is exactly how genderfluid people work.

johnny-fucking-appleseed:

thissongsacurse:

This is how I imagine genderfluid people

This is exactly how genderfluid people work.

woodmeat:

pussylipgloss:

babies are so cute and dumb aww they have only like 3 skills its adorable 

talking, breathing, archery (lv26)

Posted 10 hours ago With 73,024 notes

“Funny girls like you don’t get boyfriends. Funny girls like you get boys who are friends who want to date your boring pretty friends but also have you around to make them laugh.”

My mother - selawa (via perfect)

Posted 11 hours ago With 62,979 notes

pemsylvania:

you know it’s a good friendship when you actually sit down and establish that you’re best friends and sign a contract while having a lawyer present

Posted 11 hours ago With 6,692 notes

whatsacanada:

how do we even decide what our favorite colors are, are our brains just like “i like green because yea”

Posted 11 hours ago With 208,413 notes